so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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