im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize