all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
