they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize