Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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