this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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