So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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