what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Is Oprah even human
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize