I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
