That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
