I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
