I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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