Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
