I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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