he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
