This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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