she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
