i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
