i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
