She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize