Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
