do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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