I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My penis needs a shock collar
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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