Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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