I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
