I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
