normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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