I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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