Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize