Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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