you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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