i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
