She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
