I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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