Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
