oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
