I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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