Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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