sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
