So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
