He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize