and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
