I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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