i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
