I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
