Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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