Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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