I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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