I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
And then he peed in my hair
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