New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
