Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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