Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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