If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
