well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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