he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
