your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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