I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
