Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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