yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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