but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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