Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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