I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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