it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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