OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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