My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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