nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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