Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
