'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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