One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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