But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize