i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
