If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize