On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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