So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
