Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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